Gender
What Even Is Gender?
Depending on who you ask, you’ll get many different answers. To some, gender is another representation of the sex you were born as. To others, gender is a set of expectations set upon you by said sex. To me, it’s a set of predefined rules dictating what your personality and style should be in the public consciousness. In short, I think it’s a useless facade that we as a society should strive to strip away from the gears that keep our world spinning.
You still walk like a dude.
This was a statement said to me by a friend of mine, who’s significant other told them after meeting me. I don’t think there was malice in those words, but more of a warning, like: “they can still tell you weren’t born a girl.”
Okay, but why the fuck do I care?
Do I have to sway my hips back and forth in some parody of femininity to “pass”? Is that the line between where I am and some nebulous true femininity? I never did voice training, either, so my voice is still deep, yet she didn’t mention that at all. I’m sorry if I came off as a hyper-feminine trans woman desperately seeking approval, but at most I’m a tomboy. Most days, I’m somewhere between man and woman even. Hell, I’ve met cis women who walk the same rigid way I do. I promise, it’s not about a person’s gender.
When I heard that statement, I kind of just laughed and said I don’t care if I “walk like a dude”. I walk like me. Years and years ago, I would have cared about what I look like to other people, but now I just feel comfortable in my skin. Sometimes that means I want to be more feminine, and sometimes that means being one of the guys again.
Gender is some made up bullshit society made to categorize you based on the genitals you were born with. It means nothing, and is almost entirely irrelevant in today’s culture. Despite this, there are plenty of people still warring about whether women should be breadwinners, or if men should wear makeup.
Grow up.
Society isn’t crumbling because people dismantled your stupid, arbitrary rules about how people should be. It doesn’t matter why you think that way, it’s just wrong. Society is crumbling because of the people who REFUSE to change with the times. Those who grip onto a more comfortable “before time” where everything was perfect. Except, it never has been perfect. Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, which sometimes happens to stagnate in the middle from time to time. The 50s weren’t some time spoken about in ancient prophecy, but rather the result of decades of war and hardship, where conflict brought us together. Prosperity came at a steep price, and the idealized life America created was itself a farce. The nuclear family was propaganda to procreate, consume, and work until you die.
It wasn’t a better time. It was simply a different time, where the corruption we have now didn’t quite hit yet. However, it did start there.
I don’t know about you, but I have no desire to return to a time where even thinking a gay thought would get you beaten to death in the street, or a woman doing anything but raising a child was seen as a failure. Despite how horrid times are now, they’re also better for queer people, women, and individuals of color. Not perfect, mind you. America’s war against the transgender community and movements like Black Lives Matter prove that.
But we’re allowed to exist, and more people accept us every day. That’s why it’s important not to live in a bubble. People across all political alignment have accepted us for years, and even many religious folk have ventured into acceptance.
This article has gone off the deep end. I wanted to talk about gender first and foremost, but here I am ranting about how it effects many facets of our lives. Gender is weird, and as a construct, we should strive to rid the world of such rigid categories. I don’t mean getting rid of pronouns like he, she, they, etc. Rather, I’m saying we should get rid of the expectations tied to them.
Let men wear skirts and makeup.
Let women walk like dudes.
Let people just be themselves, no matter who that is.
